Exactly one year ago a woman walked in to her doctors surgery because she didn't feel on top of things anymore - wasn't sure why happiness was only fleeting and concerned about thoughts in her head that were best summed up by not bothering whether she woke up the next day. She had everything going for her, a beautiful home, a loving family, a successful job that she enjoyed - but something was missing. So at the behest of her family she was more or less forced to see the local doctor - awaking on the day of the appointment thinking 'what a waste of time, why am I going, I don't need to see a doctor, there is nothing wrong with me...maybe I will cancel the appointment.' But another firm voice in her head - said 'No you will go, and because she believed in angels and particularly Metatron she asked him to just be with her and if anything was needed to bring it to a head for it to be seen'...all the while thinking what a waste of time 'There is nothing wrong with me.' If you haven't guessed by now that woman was of course me - and all it took was 3 little words from a kind doctor to reveal the truth that Metatron so clearly wanted me to face. She simply said looking me direct in the eyes 'My goodness we haven't seen you for 3 years, How are you'..those words How are you - somehow pierced my protected mask I liked to show to the world, and the tears came and hardly stopped.I was diagnosed with quite severe depression, put on an anti depressant (I shall come back to that in a while) and sent for counselling. The main point is that on that day as I walked out of the doctors I felt heard for the first time in many years, she didn't think I was bonkers, or weak or a fraud (for being a therapist who somehow wasn't well) - she saw me as a human being in trouble, with too much personal stuff to deal with and reached out and said exactly what needed saying. Not all doctors are so understanding of course but I believe Metatron sent me to the right one, on the right day - when she had enough time for me... Roll on a year and I can confidently say I am better - I am off the tablets (which turned out to be a temporary lifesaver to re-establish my balance), I have looked at the deepest wounds that I carried through a mixture of healing, self learning and a number of other techniques, including regular exercise, moderating my diet and above all talking....and I feel happy, really well and looking forward again with huge enthusiasm to what is ahead of me. A year ago when the doctor said counselling I rolled my eyes a bit - I knew why I was depressed, what was the point of talking about it all again .....?! I thought it would be a bit like picking a scab that is best left alone....How wrong I was - and again how perfectly in control Metatron was in getting me the right help exactly when I needed it. A big part of my resistance was that the counsellor I assumed wouldn't share my spiritual beliefs, and for me dealing with why I had become unwell had to include talking about the spiritual dimensions to it including maybe Karmic Issues, Manifestation, Past Lives, Mindfulness etc I just was resigned to getting a standard counsellor - what I got instead was a superb counsellor on the NHS who after about 5 months of me going on about reincarnation, karma, higher self versus lower self etc - looked at me one day and said 'You do know Amanda that I am a Medium as well as a counsellor don't you, and I share your beliefs'. I nearly fell over on the spot - shocked wasn't the word - but then again why should I have been surprised. Metatron had dragged me to look at my stuff - he wasn't going to put me in front of someone who was not of the same soul group as me.
Tomorrow 11th February - marks a year on, and my final session (yes it is an 11 day - not planned, but of course perfect). I have bought a purple orchid for the lady who has helped me so much and also I hope that orchid will leave some of Metatrons energy with her also. We both came to really enjoy the sessions. A very important part of recovery and journey back to health is to own all of it - the good bits and the ugly bits - they are all us, and until we are at peace with them we can never fully integrate and be all we truly are. It also means acceptance of who we are including our frailties and our buttons that can be pushed... I remember a year ago walking out of that doctors surgery and a very important thought went through my head. I said to myself - rather than now labelling myself as a Depressive - I am labelling myself as someone in recovery from Depression. It is a really important point - as labels can quickly stick if you let them. My dear mother was told at age 28 that she would never ever be well (she was depressed) - and so years later (she is now nearly 70) and many pills later she still isn't. It became self fulfilling prophecy. I would like to think in todays more enlightened age that would never be said to anyone anymore - but the point is even if someone doesn't say that to your face - you can say it to yourself and believe it. So do you believe it is possible to recover or not - I never had the slightest doubt I could and would. And you can too. There is a bottle in the Colour Mirrors range called Faith. It is Platinum over Gold - and in the range it is placed after the darkest bottle in the set G8 (Dark Magenta. The Faith bottle reminds us that we only go into the dark night of the soul if we have the faith and trust in ourselves that we will come out of the other side of it. An important book for me during this time was Thomas Moores - dark Night of the Soul - a key theme I took out of it - was we must not rush to wellness with so much haste that we loose the benefit of what we can learn - because there is such profound learning that comes from such times. For me Metatron was always there with me throughout the whole tunnel back to the light. He kept me able to perform and function both at work and home - and I always knew one day I would be asked to tell my story - and today it just feels right to do so - especially as I am now treating others who are where I was one year ago. If you survive something and learn from it you should share it - that is what I believe, and that is what I have done here. For me now truly it is rebirth time - my relationships and aspects of my life that were dysfunctional have vastly improved and as a person I feel richer and wiser for the whole experience. I certainly do not regret it happening and any misguided shame I felt a year ago has turned into pride a year later at getting through it. Depression runs in my family - it has been with me in one shape or form all of my life in others that I love. I am aware that it needs vigilance to not slide back - we all are 100% responsible for our health and have to look after ourselves as best we can. So what have I learnt that maybe will help you reading this: - Don't be proud - accept help when you feel you need it - ideally in the case of depression - get help from your GP and from alternative sources. In spiritual circles it is sometimes frowned on to take a pill to make you feel better - yet severe depression results in part from chemical imbalance in the brain - and needs correcting. If you had pain in any other part of your body you would go to the GP - so why is mental health still taboo - it doesn't need to be. Pills if you need them, can be short term balancers that get you back on your feet - I never advocate long term use of anything unless really needed, but short term for me they were part of the mix that helped me back to life (and I have no shame in that). - Get regular healing - practise meditation - do whatever complimentary therapy feels right for you - You will learn more about yourself in the harder times than when everything is peaceful this is a fact - You learn who your true friends are - and it is a liberating process to see that. You may well clear out not just mental and behavioural patterns that have made you unwell but people, possessions, job titles the list is endless. You learn what is really important and that life is precious and can be again even if you don't feel it now - It takes a bit of work - nothing gets handed on a plate to you - if you are willing to really look at what has made you unwell and change aspects of your life and that includes often entrenched habits and behaviour - you WILL heal. - Metatron is with you every step of the way - he won't always act when you want him to (maybe you have something to learn or change - it isn't about waving magic wands) - but he always has your back - always, always, always..... - Colour is SO important - use it consciously it can change your life. - Break out and try something new - anything - it doesn't matter what. - Confront your fears - they are not nearly as powerful as you think - Surround yourself with positive people and situations - Learn to say No and enforce your personal space and boundaries - Smile - it is infectious..... So If what I have said resonates with you or with someone you know and love please pass the message on. You will find your own path back to health just like I did. If I can help in anyway of course get in touch - you will know if that feels right or not. We would start with talking sessions, as well as some healing mixed in as well. I can't tell how many sessions you may need - everyone is individual - but I will be able to tell when you no longer need them! Sessions are £40 and available via Skype or face to face in Bournemouth. I am now booking from w/c March 3rd. The Metatron sprays are also big helps in the meantime or as an add on to any healing currently being done- they are intended as instant pick me ups. For depression the Lemon (Joy) Spray is ideal as well as a White Light Cleanser. Both are available to buy on my website. Yellow / Lemon is the one colour along with Gold that really lifts the spirits and helps us clear sadness and depression. It is an important part of the healing mix back to health. The Fuchsia Solar Plexus spray is also a powerful energiser helping you reclaim your power and confidence that depression can rob you of. I hope you have enjoyed this newsletter. In the immediate few weeks I am running a Metatron Level 1 workshop in Belfast on March 22/23rd and am also running a Colour Mirrors Practitioner course w/c 24th February. I am planning other workshops too so keep a look out on my Events Page or Facebook page. I wish you HAPPINESS and love this February.. Amanda x
